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While it is impossible to prepare emotionally for having a baby in the NICU, at the very least, you can feel that you have what you need to make it through each day.  I never packed an overnight bag for the birth of my babies. At 27 weeks, I was put on unexpected bedrest and spent the next 8 days at the hospital. I was admitted after a routine OB appointment, so I didn’t have time to collect items that would have made my stay more bearable. On the 8th day, my twins were born prematurely and taken to the NICU where they stayed for the next 2 months. During that time, I developed an all-day everyday NICU routine. The hospital that was caring for my babies had a “traditional” NICU that didn’t allow for a private room or space for parents to stay the night. It became a daily task to pack a bag with the things I would need to survive the day at the NICU. Here was what helped me care for myself and my babies during this time.
Loose-Fitting Clothes Life in the NICU was stressful, so I made sure my outfit was not. Comfortable pants that didn’t rub against my c-section scar were a must. I also wore oversized shirts or tops that could be unbuttoned to facilitate kangaroo care and frequent pumping sessions. I always wore freshly laundered clothes to help prevent the spread of germs to the NICU. Journal/ Notebook There is a lot of important information to keep track of in the NICU. I had a small notebook that I used to jot down questions I wanted to ask the health care staff. I also used this book to record my babies’ milestones and accomplishments. There are also several organizations that make journals specifically for the NICU experience that are great to have around. Camera The birth of my twins certainly didn’t go as I had expected, but these were still memories that I wanted to remember. I used my phone to snap photos, and occasionally I would bring my DSLR camera into the NICU as well. I guarantee you will be so happy to have those photos to look back on. Food/ Water As a pumping mama, I needed a constant supply of food and water. I didn’t want to leave the floor to go to the cafeteria, and sugary snacks from the vending machine left me unsatisfied. I packed healthier snack options and lots of water. Toiletries After hours at the hospital, I sometimes felt disheveled. At those times, I really appreciated having a small bag of toiletry items like a comb, toothbrush, and facial wipes. I also always needed chapstick. The hospital air can be extremely drying. Pumping Supplies When I was pumping, I never left the house without my supplies. The hospital provided a pump, but I needed to bring everything else like an insulated bag, a hands-free bra, and my pump parts (valves, flanges, connectors, etc.). I often needed to pump multiple times while at the hospital, so having cleaning wipes formulated especially to clean pump parts were useful. Book/ Entertainment One of the ways I passed the time at the bedside was by reading to my babies. On days when I was unable to hold them, it was nice to be able to strengthen our bond by reading. It also was a nice distraction from the stressors of the NICU. While it is impossible to prepare emotionally for having a baby in the NICU, at the very least, you can feel that you have what you need to make it through each day. And just like those NICU days, at some point, I will look back on those hard moments and be so glad we survived them.  Before the emergency birth of my twins at 28 weeks, I had never heard of kangaroo care. But after a stint in the NICU, I will never forget the many benefits of this special therapy.
One of my greatest challenges while dealing with the NICU was time. I had waited so long to be a mother. I just wanted my babies out of the NICU and home with me. It was difficult to go to the hospital day after day, and not know when they were going to be released. And just when I thought the end was near, there would be an issue that would put us back at the beginning. Being so focused on the end goal of going home, made the journey that much harder. I found that Kangaroo Care grounded me and allowed me to focus on the present. I would purposely think about the future, and life after the NICU to escape the moment I was in. That moment in the hospital with my tiny babies was sad, but it was precious too. Just because it was hard, didn’t mean I should miss it altogether. Several years post NICU, and this realization still impacts my parenting philosophy. I try not to wish away any moments with my babies, because nothing lasts forever. And just like those NICU days, at some point, I will look back on those hard moments and be so glad we survived them.   September is Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) Awareness Month. This month is designed to honor families who have experienced the NICU and celebrate the professionals who care for them. This month is special to me, because I have two miracle babies that spent 55 and 65 days in the NICU. While I feel that every month with my children is a celebration of how amazing the care received from the NICU can be, this month I want to do a little bit more to raise awareness. If you would like to as well, here are 4 ways you can spread the NICU love.
Tell Your NICU Story If you have a NICU baby in your life, use this month as a reason to tell the story in person, or online. One of the most prevalent feelings reported by NICU parents is that of loneliness. Hearing another’s NICU tale can really help combat these feelings. Sharing can certainly help someone else, and it might just provide a little healing for you too. Spread the Word Take to social media to spread the word about NICU Awareness Month and organizations that are making a difference like Project Sweet Peas. Project Sweet Peas is a national non-profit organization coordinated by volunteers, that provides support to families of premature or sick infants and to those who have been affected by pregnancy and infant loss. They established NICU Awareness Month in 2014. Make a Donation So many of the organizations that help NICU families are non-profits. A great way to celebrate NICU Awareness Month is by making a financial donation to these organizations. I suggest the Preemie Parent Alliance, a network of organizations offering support to families of premature infants. YOu can make a donation through their website here. Give Back If your baby was in the NICU for 1 day or 100 days, you know how difficult that experience can be. Receiving a small gift or a book to read to your baby while in the NICU can really brighten your day. Consider collecting funds from friends, family, and colleagues, to buy children’s books or personal care products (think dry shampoo, chapstick, snacks, and hand sanitizer) to give to current NICU families. I hope you will join me in celebrating all NICU babies, their families, and the amazing health professionals that care for them this September. "Your babies are not counting the hours and keeping score."  The inability to bond with a baby in the NICU is a common concern that many parents experience. Often your time in the NICU with your baby is limited by work schedules, other children at home to care for, and the time it takes to travel to and from the hospital. And if your already limited time is further divided by multiple babies in the NICU, you may be doubting your ability to form a strong, healthy connection. This was a fear I confronted during my twins’ NICU stay. Over the course of the 2 months they were in the hospital I employed several simple strategies that helped me to split my time without sacrificing our bond.
Stagger the Babies’ Care Schedules Once your babies are strong enough you should be able to change their diapers, check their body temperature, dress them and eventually feed them. Ask the nurses to stagger each babies’ schedules so you are able to take part in as much care of each twin as possible. Communicate with your nurses when you plan on visiting the NICU, so care activities can be saved for and completed by you. Keep Babies’ Isolettes Close As long as it doesn’t compromise their care, most NICUs will try to keep siblings close together. For the majority of my twins’ hospitalization, their isolettes were side by side. This made spending time with both of them simultaneously so much easier. Position a comfy chair in between the beds and both babies can benefit from your presence. Simultaneous Kangaroo Care The hallmark of bonding is physical touch. And for NICU babies, this often means snuggling skin-to-skin. Kangaroo care has many health benefits for preemies including stabilizing heart rates, improving oxygen saturation and regulation of body temperature. Whenever possible, I would do kangaroo care with both babies together. They benefited from the cuddles with me as well as each other. Recruit a Holder Occasionally, you may need to provide undivided attention to one baby. When this occurs, recruit a family member, partner, or close friend to come and hold the other baby. Being held by someone who loves them, even if it’s not you is beneficial. Each NICU has different policies, but most allow approved guests to visit. Asking for help is part of being a parent of multiples, so you might as well start now! Use Your Voice There may be times when your babies are not stable enough to be held. At these times, remember the power of your voice. Babies can recognize their mother’s voice at 22 weeks gestation. Hearing a familiar voice promotes attachment, produces a calming effect, and can counteract all the background noise from alarms and equipment. Talk or sing to your babies. You can even record yourself telling a story to play for your babies when you are gone. They love the sound of your voice, even if you don’t. Position yourself between your babies and chat them up. Read Bring several of your favorite children’s books and read to them. Studies show that reading to babies in the NICU reduces stress and aids in brain development. This is another great activity that all your preemies can enjoy together. Music With permission from the medical staff, you can put together a playlist of soothing music. This is useful if you are unable to be with them, or are needing to focus on one baby at a time. Scent An additional bonding tool that doesn’t require your physical presence is scent. Scent can help babies identify and attach to their parents. Many NICUs provide fabric hearts, or a lovey that you can put in your shirt to pick up your unique scent. This is placed in your babies’ beds to cuddle and smell. If your hospital doesn’t provide such a device, ask what you could use that would be safe for your babies. Feeling like there is not enough of you to go around when you have multiple babies in the NICU is understandable. Balancing life, work, family, and sick children is daunting. But your babies are adaptable. Your babies are not counting the hours and keeping score. Do your best to be present with them, whenever you can, and know that what you give them will be enough. |
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